Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize