At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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