look no pants
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
