That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
