I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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