yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I am spending my child support on dildos
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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