I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
