Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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