God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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