they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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