Christians are straight up FREAKS
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
