And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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