Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
