well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
