he puts the penis in happiness.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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