just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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