I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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