you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
