We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
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Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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