do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
