Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
