Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she told me i tasted like america
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
