you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
