His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize