Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
