Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
