We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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