small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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