its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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