she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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