she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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