If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
