Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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