Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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