my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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