You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
