Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
