We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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