everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
