that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
