you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
