operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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