youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
