WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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