Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
