If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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