You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
