how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
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It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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