The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
