I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
