Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
