just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
