and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
