we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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