Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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