Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
