I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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