dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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