is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
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After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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