The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
