Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize