We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
